I wear a hand made silk gown, woven by my spider friends, while I walk through the thick forest.

Potato soup fondue, anyone? It might look like watered down instant spuds with a melted chunk of cheese to you, but I'm right back in a winter Swiss chalet with this meal.

I think it's time to treat myself to a stone water foot massage as I ford my daily creek.

Sorry if I seem unavailable, my secretary (dad) is holding all my calls (mail) until I return from this summer vacation.

Oh bartender, I'll have a whiskey sour on the rocks (Black Velvet with a Crystal Lite lemonade packet while literally sitting on a rock).

Mineral mud bath? Enough said...

My private chauffeur is never late to pick me up (because I'll be road walking until/if I get a hitch into town).

I don't drink from the tap, it's only the freshest spring water for me.

I know about the 800 thread count sheets, but have you ever slept on a 800 down filled mattress (sleeping bag)? Now that's what I call the high life.

It's hard to keep track of all the wild flower bouquets sent my way... I swear, I must have 1,000,000 secret admirers.

Oh, what a fancy life I live.